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Dad jokes
Re: Dad jokes
Just heard on Sky News that there is to be another protest in London tomorrow about coloured cake decorations, police are expecting hundreds and thousands!!
Re: Dad jokes
I'm a dad, I love Dad jokes....
I don't get this one at all....
nevermind, had to google it... ..
It's a regional joke....
Greg
Re: Dad jokes
Had no idea either. That too some research.
The Hapa
Re: Dad jokes
Sorry guys it’s hard to know if regional If in the region appreciate the effort you went to
Re: Dad jokes
Actually, the fact that I had to look it up , actually made it that much more of a dad joke!
Greg
- Jamie
- I'll slip an extra shrimp on the barbie for you
- Posts: 4529
- Joined: Wed Dec 02, 2009 6:26 pm
- Name: Jamie
- Location: Sydney
Re: Dad jokes
You know hippos can swim faster than a person.
But Did you know hippos can also run faster than a human?
That means the only chance of beating one in a triathlon is on the bike leg.
But Did you know hippos can also run faster than a human?
That means the only chance of beating one in a triathlon is on the bike leg.
- snootydog
- Jagermaster
- Posts: 9978
- Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:49 am
- Name: Andy
- Location: Littlehampton.West Sussex. England
Re: Dad jokes
A weird fella walked up to me the other day and said "I'm gonna cut the leg off your trousers and put it in the library".
I thought, well that's a turn up for the books.
I thought, well that's a turn up for the books.
Re: Dad jokes
Everyone PLEASE be careful because people are going crazy from being locked down at home!
I was just talking about this with the microwave and the toaster while drinking my coffee, and we all agreed that things are getting bad.
I didn’t mention any of this to the washing machine, because she puts a different spin on EVERYTHING!! Certainly couldn’t share with the fridge, cause he’s been acting cold and distant!
In the end, the iron straightened me out! She said the situation isn’t all that pressing and all the wrinkles will soon get ironed out!
The vacuum, however, was very unsympathetic…told me to just suck it up buttercup! But the fan was VERY optimistic and gave me hope that it will all blow over soon!
The toilet looked a bit flushed but didn’t say anything when I asked its opinion, but the front door said I was becoming unhinged and the doorknob told me to get a grip!! You can just about guess what the curtains told me: they told me to “pull myself together!”
We will survive!!
I was just talking about this with the microwave and the toaster while drinking my coffee, and we all agreed that things are getting bad.
I didn’t mention any of this to the washing machine, because she puts a different spin on EVERYTHING!! Certainly couldn’t share with the fridge, cause he’s been acting cold and distant!
In the end, the iron straightened me out! She said the situation isn’t all that pressing and all the wrinkles will soon get ironed out!
The vacuum, however, was very unsympathetic…told me to just suck it up buttercup! But the fan was VERY optimistic and gave me hope that it will all blow over soon!
The toilet looked a bit flushed but didn’t say anything when I asked its opinion, but the front door said I was becoming unhinged and the doorknob told me to get a grip!! You can just about guess what the curtains told me: they told me to “pull myself together!”
We will survive!!
Re: Dad jokes
I took my new girlfriend to a fund raiser event,we entered the one legged race and came last.she broke up with me 2 hours later, I said why?,She said we got off on the wrong foot
Re: Dad jokes
I have no idea what this means. Are you speaking English English?snootydog wrote:A weird fella walked up to me the other day and said "I'm gonna cut the leg off your trousers and put it in the library".
I thought, well that's a turn up for the books.
"It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever."
David St. Hubbins
David St. Hubbins
Re: Dad jokes
Cuffs
Re: Dad jokes
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Greg
- hoppes-no9
- Posts: 2489
- Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:18 am
- Name: Dan
- Location: Maryland
Re: Dad jokes
Farmer buys a new rooster to service his flock of hens. Within an hour of letting him loose, the rooster has screwed every hen in the barnyard. Farmer goes out after lunch and sees the rooster finishing up round 2. At dinnertime, he sees the rooster going after all the ducks, and by bedtime the rooster is having his way with the geese.
Next day the farmer looks out to see the rooster dead of exhaustion in the back field, with buzzards circling overhead. He walks up to the rooster's still body, pokes him with a stick, and says "You stupid son of a bitch, you screwed yourself to death."
The rooster slowly opens one eye and says "Shhhhhhhh -- they're about to land..."
Next day the farmer looks out to see the rooster dead of exhaustion in the back field, with buzzards circling overhead. He walks up to the rooster's still body, pokes him with a stick, and says "You stupid son of a bitch, you screwed yourself to death."
The rooster slowly opens one eye and says "Shhhhhhhh -- they're about to land..."
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