Dad jokes

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JBZ
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by JBZ » Tue Mar 05, 2019 5:44 am

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:11 pm

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rockmastermike
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by rockmastermike » Mon Apr 01, 2019 5:10 am

Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?










Because they’re really good at it

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon Apr 01, 2019 6:54 pm

A Greek parachutist Con descending

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hoppes-no9
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by hoppes-no9 » Tue Apr 02, 2019 6:09 pm

Did you hear about the guy that died from eating too much spaghetti?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He pasta way.


:headbang:

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mattcantwin
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by mattcantwin » Fri Apr 05, 2019 4:59 pm

Why do ducks have tail feathers?



To hide their butt quacks.
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Selym
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by Selym » Sat Apr 06, 2019 12:28 pm

Shakespeare walked into a pub and was immediately asked to leave. The barman said, "get out of here, you're Bard."

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon Apr 08, 2019 3:57 am

Paddy: Did yer see the match last noight?

Seamus: No Oi missed it, what was the score?

Paddy: It was a nil-nil draw.

Seamus: What was the half-toime score?

Paddy? I don't know, I only saw the second half.

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Wed Apr 17, 2019 10:41 pm

Fire services in Paris have found a suspicious package in Notre Dame Cathedral, but it just contained a Cheese and Tomato sandwich, a packet of crisps, an apple and a carton of orange juice
It was the Lunchpack of Notre Dame

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Tue Apr 23, 2019 6:51 pm

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Fri May 03, 2019 4:27 pm

I told my mate 10 jokes to make him laugh

Sadly, no pun in ten did!

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Sun May 05, 2019 2:37 pm

I had an uncle who stole 100 pairs of trainers from a sports shop. He was on the run for 27 years.

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon May 06, 2019 2:56 pm

I went to the doctors and I said "I can't sleep at night, I keep thinking about Chinese food."
He said "It sounds like dimsumnia."

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon May 13, 2019 4:25 pm

Q. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?




A. Every morning you'll rise and shine

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Wed May 15, 2019 2:05 am

IS an argument between vegans still called a beef?

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Wed May 15, 2019 5:30 am

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Sun May 19, 2019 2:26 pm

A blonde woman visits her husband in prison Before leaving, she tells an officer: "You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!" officer laughs, saying: Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!" : "Bullshit! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Wed Jun 05, 2019 9:09 pm

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:43 am

My uncle left his butter factory to me in his will.

I've gone and screwed it up and had to close down.

I bet he will be churning in his grave

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:24 am

I was going to make a belt from watches until I realised it would be a waist of time

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:25 am

Q: Can a match box? 
A: No, but a tin can.

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:26 am

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Tue Jun 11, 2019 3:12 pm

Two little girls are making friends in the school playground.
"What does your Daddy do for a living?" asks Sally.
"He's a magician," says Emma.
"Ooh," says Sally, "and what's his best trick?"
"Sawing people in half," replies Emma.
"And do you have any other family?" asks Sally.
"Yes," says Emma, "I have a half -brother and two half -sisters."

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mattcantwin
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by mattcantwin » Mon Jun 17, 2019 6:50 am

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Tue Jun 18, 2019 4:22 am

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