Dad jokes

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BacoNoir
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by BacoNoir » Wed Jun 26, 2019 5:55 pm

Image
Image

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Sat Jul 06, 2019 3:41 pm

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer
Not sure what they are laced with
I have been tripping all day

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Sat Jul 06, 2019 3:43 pm

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows to high
She seemed surprised

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Tue Jul 09, 2019 7:29 pm

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall?

Dam!

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Tue Aug 27, 2019 12:00 am

My friend has borrowed my grandfather clock.
He owes me big time.

I had a neck brace fitted years ago. I've never looked back since!

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next poop could spell disaster!

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Thu Sep 05, 2019 12:18 am

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sierra11b
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by sierra11b » Thu Sep 19, 2019 1:25 pm

I made a belt out of all my old watch heads...Turned out to be a total waist of time.

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hoppes-no9
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by hoppes-no9 » Fri Sep 20, 2019 5:14 pm

I once had a racing snail. I took its shell off to see if it would go faster. Unfortunately that just made it more sluggish.

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Sat Oct 05, 2019 6:11 pm

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Wed Oct 09, 2019 1:49 pm

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:00 pm

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Thu Oct 31, 2019 1:43 pm

"My best mate at school was born with with 14 fingers and 18 toes.He wasnt very good at most subjects but whenever I struggled at maths I could allways count on him.

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DoctorC
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by DoctorC » Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:37 pm

Greg

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon Nov 25, 2019 9:57 pm

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unsub073
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by unsub073 » Tue Nov 26, 2019 8:39 am

amckiwi wrote:
Mon Nov 25, 2019 9:57 pm
C3397668-0D4B-4B9B-875C-B4C5D0317EF8.jpeg
Those always amuse me. :lol:

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon Dec 02, 2019 10:33 pm

Santa Claus went into his local for a pint, and there was a snowman sitting by the open fire, playing the piano.

Santa says to the barman “Who’s he?
He’s good!”

"Aye", says the barman. “That’s Meltin' John!”

.

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Tue Dec 10, 2019 2:48 am

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rockmastermike
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by rockmastermike » Tue Dec 10, 2019 5:17 am

amckiwi wrote:
Tue Dec 10, 2019 2:48 am
9AB6C11B-0DF8-4D42-A3A7-8F8480330492.jpeg
Nice

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Steve O.
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by Steve O. » Tue Dec 10, 2019 9:40 am

amckiwi wrote:
Tue Dec 10, 2019 2:48 am
9AB6C11B-0DF8-4D42-A3A7-8F8480330492.jpeg
Oh, I get it! Took me a while. Slow today.
“The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” - Mark Twain

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Sun Dec 29, 2019 12:25 pm

So i said to the German bloke "why is that lump of meat in the boot of your car?"

"Dat is my spare veal" he replied.

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon Jan 06, 2020 5:50 pm

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rockmastermike
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by rockmastermike » Wed Jan 08, 2020 6:27 am

Image

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Captdave
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by Captdave » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:22 am

rockmastermike wrote:Image
Females have a pair of what we refer to in my profession as PFD’s (personal flotation devices)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse.

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Wed Jan 15, 2020 1:48 am

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Thu Jan 16, 2020 12:32 pm

The other day, my wife accused me of dressing up as Matt Damon's secret agent character.

She must think I was Bourne yesterday

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