Dad jokes
- hoppes-no9
- Posts: 2489
- Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:18 am
- Name: Dan
- Location: Maryland
Dad jokes
Share your corniest "dad" jokes. My kids love em. My coworkers hate em. So it's a win-win.
Here's one to kick it off:
Two ships collide in the ocean. One ship is carrying red paint, the other is carrying blue paint. Thankfully, both crews were fine, but they were marooned.
Here's one to kick it off:
Two ships collide in the ocean. One ship is carrying red paint, the other is carrying blue paint. Thankfully, both crews were fine, but they were marooned.
Re: Dad jokes
Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan...
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan...
- rockmastermike
- Feedback Virtuoso
- Posts: 20595
- Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 5:13 pm
- Name: WDE
Re: Dad jokes
what do you call a 4-door Yugo?
A we-go
A we-go
- Sidheguitarist
- Man of many calibers.
- Posts: 10406
- Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 4:16 pm
- Name: Michael
Re: Dad jokes
Q: what does rhe statue of libety stand for?
A: she can’t sit down...
Q: what do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk?
A: the star-spangled Banner
Q; why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom?
A: because the P (pee) is silent...
A: she can’t sit down...
Q: what do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk?
A: the star-spangled Banner
Q; why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom?
A: because the P (pee) is silent...
-
- Posts: 677
- Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2013 11:20 am
- Name: Doug
Re: Dad jokes
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved
Nothing, it just waved
- mikeylacroix
- Posts: 3746
- Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2014 7:00 am
- Name: Mike
Re: Dad jokes
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick.
A stick.
Re: Dad jokes
What do you call a homosexual dinasour?
Megasorarse (megasorass)
Megasorarse (megasorass)
Re: Dad jokes
Why can miss piggy not court to 100?
When she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat
When she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat
Re: Dad jokes
Two peanuts were walking down the street one was a salted.
- hoppes-no9
- Posts: 2489
- Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:18 am
- Name: Dan
- Location: Maryland
Re: Dad jokes
What’s red, and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
Red paint.
Re: Dad jokes
Paddy says to Murphy "My mate came off his motorbike today."
"Oh really?" Says Murphy.
"Yes" Paddy answers. "He has brain damage, 2 broken arms and is blind
in one eye!"
Murphy says, "Bloody hell, no wonder he came off!"
"Oh really?" Says Murphy.
"Yes" Paddy answers. "He has brain damage, 2 broken arms and is blind
in one eye!"
Murphy says, "Bloody hell, no wonder he came off!"
Re: Dad jokes
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty!
Tooth-hurty!
Re: Dad jokes
You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there?
European.
European.
Re: Dad jokes
A guy walks into a dentist's office. The receptionist asks, how can I help you?
He replies, I'm a moth.
She says, excuse me, I don't understand.
He says, I'm a moth, I eat like a moth, I sleep like a moth, I'm a moth!
She says, I think you want the psychiatrist's office two doors down the hall...
He replies, yeah, I know... But your light was on...
He replies, I'm a moth.
She says, excuse me, I don't understand.
He says, I'm a moth, I eat like a moth, I sleep like a moth, I'm a moth!
She says, I think you want the psychiatrist's office two doors down the hall...
He replies, yeah, I know... But your light was on...
Greg
Re: Dad jokes
Why can't dinosaurs dance?
Because they're dead.
Because they're dead.
Re: Dad jokes
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
You put a little boogie in it.
-
- Posts: 677
- Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2013 11:20 am
- Name: Doug
Re: Dad jokes
For the dads with older kids:
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Nothing,, she just gagged a little bit
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Nothing,, she just gagged a little bit
- 59yukon01
- 1.21 gigawatts?!
- Posts: 10513
- Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2015 8:49 am
- Name: David
- Location: Louisville, KY
Re: Dad jokes
^^^Member of the rainbow club no doubt.
Re: Dad jokes
What is the best part of living in Switzerland?
I don’t know but the flag sure is a big plus.
I don’t know but the flag sure is a big plus.
Re: Dad jokes
Is Google male or female?
Female it makes suggestions before you finish your sentence
My mother in la fell down a wishing well
Amazing I never knew they worked
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common
No ballroom
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest
An investigator
A new wine for older people has been developed
Pinomore
What did the banana say to the doctor
I'm not peeling well
Wrestling a game where people without pants fight for a belt
I held the door open open for a clown last week
I thought it was a nice jester
Smaller babies are delivered by a stork, larger ones need a crane
The roundest knight at king Arthir's round table was Sir Cumfrence
Female it makes suggestions before you finish your sentence
My mother in la fell down a wishing well
Amazing I never knew they worked
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common
No ballroom
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest
An investigator
A new wine for older people has been developed
Pinomore
What did the banana say to the doctor
I'm not peeling well
Wrestling a game where people without pants fight for a belt
I held the door open open for a clown last week
I thought it was a nice jester
Smaller babies are delivered by a stork, larger ones need a crane
The roundest knight at king Arthir's round table was Sir Cumfrence
Re: Dad jokes
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff!
Cliff!
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