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Dad jokes
Re: Dad jokes
I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said BREAD IN CAPTIVITY.
Re: Dad jokes
Wanted stats on Afghanistan, but they have a tally ban.
- hoppes-no9
- Posts: 2489
- Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:18 am
- Name: Dan
- Location: Maryland
Re: Dad jokes
Old lady was stopped at Logan Intl Airport because she had knitting needles. They were afraid she was going to knit an Afghan.
Re: Dad jokes
A man's wife accuses him of "testiculating"
"What the hell is testiculating?" the man asks.
Looking both irritated and impatient, his wife responds, "It's when a man is talking bollocks!"
The man considers this for a moment."Tell me something," he finally says. "Are you on your period?"
"Yes," his wife answers. "Why?"
The man nods. "I thought so. You're ovaryacting."
"What the hell is testiculating?" the man asks.
Looking both irritated and impatient, his wife responds, "It's when a man is talking bollocks!"
The man considers this for a moment."Tell me something," he finally says. "Are you on your period?"
"Yes," his wife answers. "Why?"
The man nods. "I thought so. You're ovaryacting."
Re: Dad jokes
These are good
- hoppes-no9
- Posts: 2489
- Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:18 am
- Name: Dan
- Location: Maryland
- Joeprez
- Wants to see pics of your wife
- Posts: 13851
- Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:36 am
- Name: Joe
- Location: Puerto Rico
Re: Dad jokes
Lol!!!hoppes-no9 wrote:
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Omega / Tudor / Rolex / Sinn / Doxa / Seiko
Re: Dad jokes
It’s a 5 min walk from my house to the bar, it’s a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house.
The difference is staggering!
The difference is staggering!
Re: Dad jokes
How does a lawyer sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Don’t worry, though - he woke up.
He wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then he changed his mind.
Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? - Ireland. It’s Dublin every day.
A supercilious crook going downstairs? Oh you mean, A condescending con, descending.
Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.
England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran.
Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
‘I have a split personality’ said Tom, being Frank.
What did one flag say to the other?
Nothing, it just waved!
There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Don’t worry, though - he woke up.
He wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then he changed his mind.
Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? - Ireland. It’s Dublin every day.
A supercilious crook going downstairs? Oh you mean, A condescending con, descending.
Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.
England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran.
Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
‘I have a split personality’ said Tom, being Frank.
What did one flag say to the other?
Nothing, it just waved!
Re: Dad jokes
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Re: Dad jokes
Of all the nights of the round table
Sir Cumfrence
Was the round west of them all!
Sir Cumfrence
Was the round west of them all!
Re: Dad jokes
the re-opening of Lego stores was a big deal- hundreds of people lined up for blocks