Dad jokes
Re: Dad jokes
Not very much is known about Mahatma Ghandi. A frail man, he sometimes went for days without proper food, living off berries and anything else he could find to keep himself alive and, because of this, he suffered from bad breath. Also, not having proper footwear whilst walking over very hard and rough ground, his feet suffered horribly from cuts and bruises. Basically, he was a super-calloused fragile mystic wracked with halitosis...
Re: Dad jokes
My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances...
Well, she's in for a shock.
Well, she's in for a shock.
Re: Dad jokes
I bought a dog off a blacksmith today.
As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door!
As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door!
Re: Dad jokes
What's the difference between America and a memory stick?
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One's USA and the other's USB!
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One's USA and the other's USB!
- hoppes-no9
- Posts: 2489
- Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:18 am
- Name: Dan
- Location: Maryland
Re: Dad jokes
Someone stole my antidepressants.
I hope they’re happy.
I hope they’re happy.
Re: Dad jokes
When does a joke become a Dad joke?
When it becomes apparent
When it becomes apparent
Re: Dad jokes
These are getting worse but that is the idea yes?
- 59yukon01
- 1.21 gigawatts?!
- Posts: 10509
- Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2015 8:49 am
- Name: David
- Location: Louisville, KY
Re: Dad jokes
Today I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup. Later I took what was probably the biggest vowel movement I've ever had.
Re: Dad jokes
I come from a family of failed magicians....
I have two half-sisters
I have two half-sisters
Re: Dad jokes
I have the memory of an elephant.
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I very clearly remember seeing an elephant once in the zoo.
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I very clearly remember seeing an elephant once in the zoo.
Re: Dad jokes
Did you know Old McDonald’s son when into the Army?
He became E I GI Joe.
He became E I GI Joe.
Re: Dad jokes
amckiwi wrote:Two Chinese dudes break into a distillery. One turns to the other and says “Is this Whiskey? The other one says “Yes but not as Whiskey as wobbing a bank!!!
I couldn’t stop crying of laughter trying to read this joke out loud to my friends.
- Sidheguitarist
- Man of many calibers.
- Posts: 10405
- Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 4:16 pm
- Name: Michael
Re: Dad jokes
Question: A plane crashed down with 200 people on board. Every single person died, yet there were a 100 survivors.
How is that possible?
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Answer: All the married ones lived!!
How is that possible?
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Answer: All the married ones lived!!
- Heuerville
- Posts: 4706
- Joined: Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:09 am
- Name: Stewart
- Location: UK
- Contact:
Re: Dad jokes
My wife said she was going to leave me because of my obsession with The Monkees.
I said that's ridiculous, and just laughed.
Then I saw her face.
I said that's ridiculous, and just laughed.
Then I saw her face.
Stewart - Heuerville & Heuerville Straps
http://heuerville.wordpress.com/heuerville-straps/
"SOB get me a drink"
http://heuerville.wordpress.com/heuerville-straps/
"SOB get me a drink"
- 59yukon01
- 1.21 gigawatts?!
- Posts: 10509
- Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2015 8:49 am
- Name: David
- Location: Louisville, KY
Re: Dad jokes
Now you're a believer.Heuerville wrote:My wife said she was going to leave me because of my obsession with The Monkees.
I said that's ridiculous, and just laughed.
Then I saw her face.
Not a trace of doubt in your mind.
You're in love.......
Re: Dad jokes
There were twin witches
This caused problems as you never knew which witch was which
Why did the witches team lose the baseball game?
Their bats flew away
Newly married spiders are newlywebbed
Why did the ghost go to the bar
He liked boos
This caused problems as you never knew which witch was which
Why did the witches team lose the baseball game?
Their bats flew away
Newly married spiders are newlywebbed
Why did the ghost go to the bar
He liked boos
Re: Dad jokes
Copper Nitrate
Overtime for a police man
Overtime for a police man
Re: Dad jokes
The truth shall set you free.
Unless you are in court then you should prom STFU
Unless you are in court then you should prom STFU