Australian Telephone Helpline Operator: "G'day mate .. Helpline here ... What's the problem?"
Customer: "I'm in the Outback with the girlfriend and she's been stung on her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely
closed up!"
Australian Telephone Helpline Operator: "Bummer!"
Customer: "Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Divorced Barbie Doll
One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He stops at a toy store and goes in and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95 The amazed father asks: 'It's what? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'
The slightly miffed salesgirl rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Truck, Ken's House, Ken's Fishing Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Dog, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made from Ken's testicles.'
Helpline......
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JDC222
- Demander of Intro Threads
- Posts: 17677
- Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 7:30 pm
- Name: Dave
- Location: Canada
Re: Helpline......
Whisky has killed more men than bullets, but most men would rather be full of whisky than bullets.
Winston Churchill.
Winston Churchill.
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toxicavenger
- President Tranny
- Posts: 48115
- Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2010 8:25 am
- Name: HeadDIK
- Location: Colorado Springs
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1watchaholic
- Posts: 5262
- Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:55 pm
- Name: Gary
- Location: Los Angeles, CA. USA
Re: Helpline......
HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!
Serdal
Serdal
Seiko SKX 173 Mil. Mod.; Seiko SBCM 029; Seiko 6306 - 7000; MKII LRRP UTC 48; MKII Stingray; Marathon MSar 500 LE; Marathon Navigator; USSR Signal Mechanical Alarm; USSR NOS Raketa Mechanical; USSR NOS Poljot Shturmansky Mechanical Chrono; Hamilton H-31 Chrono; Hamilton Auto; Arsa Extra WW II Mechanical; Citizen Ecozilla; Alpha GMT Coke Auto; ONLY TWO WRISTS :-)
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2canChew
- Old School
- Posts: 3037
- Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2012 1:11 am
- Name: Cap
- Location: Canada
- Contact:
Re: Helpline......
- Censorship is like smoke, it always clears and never lasts.
- The internet should be considered a sport, it has the largest playing field.
- You can run but you can't hide, except in Beijing.
- Best cell phone plan, never owning one.
- Eat GMO's until your genitals fall off.
Re: Helpline......
I was gonna tell a joke about a pencil...but it's pointless.
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Sidheguitarist
- Man of many calibers.
- Posts: 10406
- Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 4:16 pm
- Name: Michael
Re: Helpline......
Yup, not bad at all.
